"I Could Have Danced All Night" (MY FAIR LADY)

Well, on Monday night I did something else that I love to do--take dance class. I've always loved to dance at large gatherings like weddings and parties. It's a hidden hobby until this year. I used to be scared to dance in public, I cared too much about what other people thought that I inhibited myself. I could only blame myself for that. I retreated into my own world known as my room to try and learn dance steps where I felt free. The beat and rhythm moved the body, the body becoming an expressive form, uniquely your own. Over the years, I grew to be comfortable with dancing in public, no matter how weird I looked but still never fully realizing the true release. As a heavy person, I knew I would never be considered a dancer but I finally stopped saying that to myself and started taking dance classes back in January. Here is excerpts of my experience from that first night:
"OH MY GOSH!!!!! I have rekindled an old love just in a new form--hip-hop dance. Okay I've never had extensive dance training, just a few classes here and there in jazz and ballet. And those were really minor including a little incident with splitting pants. Don't ask, well let me just say that doing a ballet position and bending doesn't go well with me in pants. And, of course, dancing in clubs here in the city is so crowded, people totally up in my business.
But tonight, after knocking the idea around for months and a lot of ribbing from my co-worker Dennis, an experienced hip-hop dancer/instructor, I finally took a hip-hop dance class at Broadway Dance Center. Let me tell you how much fun I had. I took the basics class, and we started off with what I thought would be a nice, slow warm-up. I mean it's been years since I've taken a dance class and I didn't remember it being like that. What it was--was a lot of pushing that my body hadn't felt in a long time. And I'm sure I will feel it tomorrow, all the muscles in my body will ache.
Then we started learning steps and to feel that structure and teaching of choreography is something I so love, embracing the steps as they move your body, each a personal expression of yourself. To feel that emotion, sense of releasing and freeing of yourself in dance is exhilarating. I sweated more in that class than in any game of volleyball. I may not remember all the steps, but in those movements when the music's beats pound in the air, my muscles lead my body and I went on an amazing ride. I forgot how releasing it felt to just dance. I've always loved to dance but nothing was ever structured about it, no training or anything. I was trying to follow their steps as they did it being the perfection I am. But in hip-hop it is not simply about the steps but it's also about the attitude. And you all know I have plenty of that. I'm already thinking about when to go again. But the love has returned that has been gone far too long."

These last few months in dance classes have been amazing. I might not always get the steps right but at least I'm trying. I also love the saying that one of the instructors says that I have to keep reminding myself--"love yourself when you're learning." I forget that too many times. I also got to experience my first dance convention. One of our programs at Broadway Cares is Dancers Responding to AIDS. They were having a benefit at Broadway Dance Center's Summer Fest where kids from around the country come and take dance classes with professionals in all disciplines. That was an eye-opener because it is a world of types--the prima donna dancer, the pushy parent, the kid pushing around their parent, the naive dancer, and the ones who will not make it past their teens in dance. I'll be helping out more at these conventions to experience more of the dance world.

"Children Will Listen" (INTO THE WOODS)

Oh my, the day was a HOT one!! And since it was the end of a holiday week the train out to Long Beach was completely crowded for the first time this season. I thought that it was okay and that it would all kind of be spread out once we got to the beach. Well, when we arrived at the boardwalk it was completely covered with vendors for their annual bazaar. It was a trek just to get to the beach because we had to squirm through the crowd on the boardwalk, not a good sign. Anyway, with the blazing sun coming down, we parked it under the boardwalk where we had shade and relief. I was particularly happy about that because I had planned to park my big booty under shade and just relax. I did not sleep well the night before so I was already drained and knew I could just take it easy. They were going to try a doubles tournament like last week but a little more organized. It was not entirely the same group of people playing and we were spread out so it was going to be a problem to get it going, I could see that from the onset. They started sort of late because they needed to wait for a certain number of people to play and also the lines for the court. Once they got started, they ran into problems with people not being ready to play or not around the area so it got a little frustrating for Dee and Jay. Finally they just gave up on it and everyone just played in fours or doubles. People got tired a lot faster because of the sun and the really burning sand. For me, I just took a few pictures and sat my big booty on my neat sheet and slept. It was a good day. I'm such a loser because I did not even exert an ounce of energy doing any physical activity. Maybe I just needed a little break.

I'm passionate about volleyball and with the recent playing of softball and tennis which have been passionate past-times, I thought I would explore some of the other hobbies that make me happy and examine their origins. This entry I'll discuss the fascination I have with pictures. I discussed this a couple of entries back in a small paragraph but I'll elaborate a little bit more on it. Just simple photographs of loved ones and places of significance. I actually started a sort of semi-biography in pictures on my flickr page. I'm not exactly sure where my love for taking pictures, very amateurish as they are, but more importantly being in the actual pictures. I've always loved having photos around me whether in frames or albums. I even love looking at other people's frames and albums. This was before the digital age where film processing took days and yet I would sort through photos and put them in albums and/or display them. This is certainly not a family trait or hobby that was passed down. I absolutely love "posing" for a photo and have been doing that since I was a toddler as evidenced by some of the pictures in that pictorial biography. As a person who is not comfortable with their looks, I somehow found a way to feel a little special in pictures because it was your own individual mark captured in time. How could I not take advantage of that? I may not be a stand-out in the picture but at least I'm in the picture. As I got into high school, I started to take more pictures and realized how much I liked doing that, capturing people like I would want to captured. I take a picture with a little candidness but also with an idea of how it could be framed if I wanted it to. When I moved to New York, I kept a lot of pictures of my family around my apartment so I could feel like they were with me even though we were thousands of miles apart. I eventually got more frames and more photo albums as the years went by. I LOVE frames and buy them just to have them in stock in my apartment so that when I do have a photo I want to use, I will have a frame ready. I'm running out of shelf and wall space so I will need to figure out something. But with the digital age, I'm loving the fact that I can experiment with picture-taking and capture a little something special. Nowadays, I will snap about 120 pictures in a day of activities and go through them, edit, and then post them with some cropping and captions on my flickr page by the end of the evening. I have a quick turn-around with my pictures as far as getting them posted because I love working with the photos. Again, I love capturing that moment. I would not have considered it a hobby, it's just something that I do, second-nature and I love doing it. It makes me happy.

"You Could Drive A Person Crazy" (COMPANY)

Today I trekked out to Brooklyn to play softball. We'll call it Brandeis volleyball invades Brooklyn for Softball. Vanessa, the ultimate organizer, had put together a day for us to play softball complete with rules, schedule, team names and captains, scorebook, and refreshments. She is the best at this kind of thing. It was a nice WARM day for this and it filled up our afternoon with good times. For me it was a little trip down memory lane.

Softball, I say, would be my family's choice of sport. I grew up with the sport every summer as it was a family affair. Cousins, uncles, and aunts filled teams, sometimes traveling to tournaments around Texas and in Oklahoma, Kansas, and Louisiana. We would even go to the Softball Hall of Fame in OKC as a huge family. Fastpitch softball was our fanatical way of life during the summers, and though it was a family pasttime and I gave it a try on the field, it was not a strong passion like I have felt with tennis, dance, and volleyball. Don't get me wrong, I love a good game and watch softball games on TV especially the Women's College World Series but it's not a sport that I actively play. Today being the exception. Hopefully we'll get to do a few more dates before the summer ends. Touching and throwing a softball brought back so many memories.

Following afternoon play, a few of us moved over to Queens to celebrate our friend Claire's birthday. She was away at a wedding during her actual birthday so we were celebrating it a week later. Claire is a known carnivore and just does not do well with vegetables, so we took her to a Brazilian BBQ restaurant. This was like heaven for her because they brought out all kinds of meat to the table and she got to pick and choose. The selections were delicious and the entire table of 13 was completely in a food coma in less than an hour including me. Claire is a no-nonsense gale who cracks me up with her appropriate subtleness yet her straightforward manner when the matters calls for it. She's a force to be reckoned with on the volleyball court even if it's all guys, she's still not scared. She's one person who always comments about how she loves the diversity of our group and I would have to agree.

People are brought into our lives for a purpose that I truly trust God does. I might not always know their purpose right away but they may help me through a struggling time or just provide a laugh at the proper moment. Either way that person is in my life for a reason. I'm better for knowing them and I hope that I enrich their lives in return. I must include lyrics to two songs that put it best.

"FOR GOOD" (musical WICKED)
ELPHABA
I'm limited:
(Spoken)Just look at me –
I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:

GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

GLINDA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore

GLINDA (overlapping Elphaba)
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun.
Like a stream the meets a boulder halfway through the wood.

ELPHABA (overlapping Glinda)
Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood.

BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

GLINDA
And because I knew you:

ELPHABA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.
**************************************
"I BELIEVE" (musical ALTAR BOYZ)
[Abe]
One beam of light, is enough to see where you're going
One wrong turn, is enough to loose your way
One choice, is all you have to make
One ounce of faith could save the day
I believe, that I came to know you for a reason
I believe, that the things that you say will come true
I believe that with you in my life I'll make it
I believe in you .stlyrics

[Juan]
One Mistake, doesn't have to mean that it's over

[Luke]
One bad day, only means there's work to do

[Mark]
One night, is sometimes all it takes

[All]
To realize one thing is true
I believe, that I came to know you for a reason
I believe, that the things that you say will come true
I believe that with you in my life I'll make it
I believe in you

[Matthew]
Take a picture of me now, take a look at who I am
Yesterday I wasn't half as strong

[Abe, Juan, Luke, and Mark]
Take a picture of us all, what we've been and what we are
Look at that, and tell me I'm wrong

[Matthew]
I BELIEVE!

[Abe, Juan, Luke, Mark]
That I came to know you for a reason

[All]
I believe, that the things that you say will come true

[Matthew}
Oooohhh

[All]
I believe that with you in my life I'll make it
I believe in you
I believe in

[Matthew]
You

[Abe, Juan, Luke, Mark]
I believe in

[All]
You-ooh-hoo